Andrew Sullivan’s view of gay stigma often resonates for cleft stigma

 Andrew Sullivan’s Out on a Limb:, Chapter The Politics of Homosexuality:

“There is no common discourse in which he can now speak, …” A beginning: If someone is getting on our case, and pretending that it isn’t because we are different, we can ask, “Are you being cleft-phobic?”

The mainstream, despite the civil rights revolution, still “pursues the logic of repression.”

Like homosexuality, cleft palate “does in fact exist as an identifiable and involuntary characteristic of some people, and that these people do not as a matter of course suffer from moral or psychological dysfunction,” nor are we guilty because of our difference.

One reason a “common discourse” is lacking is because of  “a politics of denial or repression. Faced with a sizable and inextinguishable part of society, it can only pretend that it does not exist, or needn’t be addressed, or can somehow be dismissed.” Ok, just 1 in 700. But name a program anywhere in the United States for adults with cleft palate.

Sullivan describes a gay politics of “theater and rhetoric”; we clefted sit abashed, humble and apologetic, and don’t do anything. “Acquiescence in repression,” Sullivan notes. “A psychological dynamic of supplication that too often only perpetuates cycles of inadequacy and self-doubt. … the notion that [our] equality is dependent on the goodwill of [our] betters. … A clear and overwhelming history of accumulated discrimination and a social ghetto that seemed impossible to breach.” (I don’t care if it h-words the Governor.)

“Facing their families and colleagues with integrity.” Yes. We should. Cleft Pride. “Full civic equality.” Shout out our “existence, equality, integrity.”

“America’s inherent hostility to gay people.” And to us, still: half a century after the civil rights revolution.

“Liberalism properly restricts itself to law—not culture—in addressing social problems.” And since the Equal Protection clause has been implemented as protected class, we must be in a protected class, even if the public doesn’t think so. Make that clear whenever someone insults or bullies you.

We don’t have a community: “A young heterosexual black or Latino girl invariably has an existing network of people like her to interpret, support, and explain the emotions she feels when confronting racial prejudice for the first time. But a gay child generally has no one. The very people she would most naturally turn to—the family—may be the very people she is most ashamed in front of.” Our small numbers - 1 in 700 - make us very alone. One of the first things the so far nonexistent program for adult clefted people should be a clearinghouse to put us in contact with each other.

“The country [should be] forced to debate a subject honestly—even calmly—in a way it never has before.”