Another six months of Monica, have mercy; I don't care if it harelips the Governor. - Molly Ivins, Time.com
Stigma: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity - Erving Goffman
There's case law out there regarding people commenting and gesturing against race and religion. But ... there's nothing out there regarding disabilities. - Assistant City Prosecutor Jennifer Fitsimmons
Take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, ... re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul - Walt Whitman, Preface to first edition of Leaves of GrassTa-Nehisi Coates, in The Atlantic:
It is wrong to make war on people because you can not get over yourself. And though today we may say that we have advanced, through much of this country, the wrong continues unabated. (Emphasis added.)Andrew Sullivan in The Dish:
The term “stereotype threat” is used to describe how negative stereotypes cause members of a stereotyped group to underperform. (See Reduced Life Chances)insideakronchildrens.org:
As with most kids, all Kelsey wanted was to “fit in.” But there were times she had to endure stares and questions about her appearance – some simply inquisitive while others malicious and intended to embarrass.Cleft Palate Girl to Toss Coin at Start of Men's Tennis Final
["Cleft Palate Girl?" Reminds one of the scene in the movie “Goodfellas,” when Joe Pesci says to Ray Liotta, “I amuse you? I make you laugh?”]The following are from valuable cleft palate resource websites:
http://www.cleftsmile.org/what-are-cleft-lip-and-palate/
Teens with cleft lip and palate may have had to cope with bullying or teasing. For many people, this can play havoc with self-esteem. ...http://www.patchofpuddles.co.uk/archives/9931/having-a-cleft-lip-palate-by-fran
Your friends, family, and medical team can be a source of support. Talk to them about how you’re feeling. You might also want to talk to a counselor or therapist because these health professionals are trained to help people deal with difficult situations and improve self-esteem.
And if you’ve had cleft lip and palate, you’re not alone. Your medical team may be able to help you get in touch with other people with cleft lip or palate or support groups in your area.
I didn’t really care what people thought about my looks or speech because I knew that I wouldn’t let other people’s opinions change who I was and what things were important to me. Now, in year ten I’ve got good friends who will stick up for me and have stuck up for me when people are being completely unreasonable! They like me for who I am and understand about my cleft and never let me underestimate myself, in fact I am most severely told off if I ever say a word against myself!From English cleft lip and palate association:
cleftaware2013.wordpress.com/bullying-and-self-image/
It’s important to remember that bullying is bullying, no matter who it’s coming from, and that the best way to stop bullying is to call it what it is and ask for help.
If someone is deliberately hurtful to others over a period of time, that person is a bully, even if they aren’t aware of how much their actions hurt others. Some myths about bullying include the idea that ‘it’s harmless fun’, it ‘builds character’, it’s ‘just teasing’ or that the best way to deal with it is to fight back. If friends and relatives say these kinds of things to you, they may mean well but that doesn’t mean they’re right! Bullying is never acceptable, and hurts both the victim and the bully in the long term.
Worth watching: Carmit Bachar (formerly of the Pussycat Dolls) was born with a cleft lip and palate. Here, she answers some questions submitted by some children and young people who have a cleft themselves, and talks a little about growing up, bullying, fame, and developing self-confidence.
An American resource:
Shawna: I really wanted to know how to make the teasing stop, so this is what she told me. “Every time someone starts to make fun of your cleft lip and palate, ask them if they have a question about it.” Well, the next day, the kids made their usual comments, but this time I was ready. I turned around and confronted them, and I asked, “Do you have a question about my lip?” They didn't expect me (quiet and shy as I was) to say anything back to them at all. So, to my surprise, they started to ask questions about what happened and why I looked different. They were not expecting me to be able to answer them, but I did, and gradually the teasing stopped.
A woman with a cleft palate: http://cleftline.org/docs/Booklets/ADT-01.pdf
Like many of you, I experienced many hospitalizations due to my cleft, as well as the stares, teasing, and confused looks of others when they could not understand my speech. I grew up in an environment where those in my family and community did not openly discuss my responses to these moments, so others did not know the pain and isolation I felt throughout my youth.
Adult male:If you have feelings which you believe interfere with your ability to get along with other people, be successful at work, or interact comfortably in romantic relationships, you are not alone. Joining a support group may provide you with the opportunity to interact with individuals who have had similar experiences. Professional counseling, often available through your local cleft/craniofacial team, may also be of benefit to you.
